Elimichurch

I must begin by saying that I do not look down on anyone who is not familiar with late night dating show Elimidate. It’s one of the last dating shows left from the boom that occurred three years ago that brought us such wonderfully televised reality shows, dating games, and live ‘cat fights.” It is, in my opinion, the sleaziest one out there, but that’s all up to the show’s editors, etc. The gist of the show is one guy or girl is single (obviously) and is set up on one long and unrealistic date in order to find his “true love” or just someone he can be on TV with for a day. But here’s the catch, he/she begins the date with 4 dates and after each round is supposed to eliminate the one he/she is less pleased with. The results are the epitome of why Dr. Dobson warns us of Satan living in our TV sets (or something like that) and why most church kids were only aloud to watch McGee & me tapes and PG movies until they were driving. The contestants, right from the start, begin tearing each other down in order to win the prize. Ladies attack the others’ looks, guys nit pick everything the other guys do, and the cameras capture it all. Every word, every tear…every rejection. All this is done so that in the end…that one lucky contestant can narrow down the field to find their “true date.”

Here’s what is going on my head. What if that was how we picked what church we went to or our pastor? What if the show was called Elimichurch/Elimipastor? Maybe something like this...?

Show Commentator:
Johnny seeker has been looking for a church home ever since he graduated college 2 years ago. He’s had a pretty steady church for awhile but got bored and realized their weren’t enough ministries for his age going on and left in search of one that fit him better. Today he hopes to find that lucky church and boy does he have options.

Pastor #1 is Phil the funny guy pastor
He has all the cool college talk down and knows the how to “get down with Jesus style.” He pastors a growing church plant outside of Santa Cruz, CA and playing sports, watching sports, and bleaching his hair as a sport. Love and acceptance are big parts of his ‘postmodern ministry.’

Pastor #2 is Harry the hymn thumper pastor (a.k.a. The Reverand)
He pastors a church in Bibleland, Connecticut and this guy knows church. His dad was a pastor, his mom a missionary, and his brother used to work at the local Christian bookstore. Harry likes to be called Reverend and can usually be found writing his ‘altar filling’ sermons or reprimanding a youth pastor that keeps letting kids throw water balloons in the sanctuary. He often brags about how he has his denomination’s entire handbook/discipline memorized just in case all the copies are lost in a fire or natural disaster.

Pastor #3 is Laurie the liberal everything pastor
If you were a sinner at that church, she’s got a way of reading the bible here that will make you ok again. Whether you live gay/straight, drink Pepsi or coke, drive Ford or Chevy, or have an abortion right before coming into church…you’re ok by her. She leads a large church in NY that pattern their core values after ‘God’s love for all his creation.’ She says that you can know God and can find community within the body of Christ…at her church. Laurie spends her free time writing negative, yet insightful responses to every article on Keithdrury.com.

Then the show begins and the contestant (Johnny the seeker) asks them questions, complains about how other churches/pastors have ripped him off in the past, and proceeds to listen as each one of the pastors/churches tell how they are different and better. Then the pastors/churches would begin to fight. One would point out the other’s ways of leaving true orthodoxy. Another would get hounded for misinterpreting scripture and leading people to hell or something in those words. Maybe another would claim they are the only true church and the others are not biblical at all. One of them would probably get attacked for being a boring preacher or for not being aware of the cool new ways to minister to our emerging culture.

What if this was how it was?
What if finding a church was like narrowing down a couple ‘under-qualified dates?’
What if churches all fought over people?

What if we were honest with ourselves?
Does the church need daters or lovers?

I'm done writing now...

Jared Bell

tolerating sin

I've been thinking about what it means to be loving of a sinner or of someone who holds a belief or lifestyle contrary to your own. In this case, as a devoted follower of Christ, I can easily use the issue of homosexuality but I won't...its too easy to get off course when involving a hot topic like that.

Let's say you meet a girl who lives a pretty loose social life. Hmmm. Nice girl, very friendly, has made some mistakes, doesn't dress or act like "church people," but is at church and you befriend her. You've read the scriptures about loving thy neighbor and evangelism. You've grown up hearing about how we love the sinner but hate the sin, etc. All that crap aside...

How do you make clear that you disagree with her lifestyle while also saying, "I love you for what God created you to be, his child." Because the more I think about it, I realize it seems to be this ‘big trump card answer’ that only would works or makes sense to other Christians. Tell me if this sounds right:

Suzy Sinner: Hey Johnny I went out and…blah blah blah…last night. It was cool. You should come along sometime.

Johnny Christian: Um, I’m busy with bible study. Sorry.

Suzy Sinner: You go to bible study every night. How come you never hang out with me outside of church? We are friends right?

Johnny Christian: Yeah. We’re friends all right.

Suzy Sinner: What’s the matter? I don’t understand. Am I not cool enough for ya (sarcasm)?!?

Johnny Christian: Well, in your case. I love the sinner, but hate the sin. I think you do a lot of things that are wrong…blah blah blah.


Back to reality. This may have been the right thing for Johnny Christian to say at this time, but was it the best thing to do? Should he have done this:

Suzy Sinner: Hey Johnny I went out and…blah blah blah…last night. It was cool. You should come along sometime.

Johnny Christian: Ya know Suzy…I’m not really into that stuff. I know you are, but its not my thing and I’d rather hang out with you somewhere else. You’re cool, that’s not my stye though (said really smooth, maybe with a little wink afterwards).

Suzy Sinner: That’s cool. See ya at church on Sunday.

Johnny Christian: Bye Suzy.


It seems to me that we run the risk of either (1) condoning the sin by not speaking up and ignore it in the name of love or (2) we condemn the sinner in hopes that they will, all of the sudden, choose us over the sin because it makes so much sense to us. Are there solutions to this? Yes. Are there formulas? I would say no.

But Jesus sure had it figured out. He ate with prostitutes and even let one touch his feet. But many have likened the image of God to the cheap picture of a longhaired hippie looking guy with a big smile and a thumbs up T-shirt that says, “Jesus is my Homeboy.” What a load of crap I say. Jesus is our Savior who died to bring life and relationship. He was a revolutionary, not a cheap icon for Christian pop culture to make money off of.

Ok. I went off subject a bit.

How do you love the sinner without condoning the sin?
How do you hate the sin while loving the sinner?
Is there an answer besides: JESUS.

I'm done writing now...

Jared Bell

Three decisions

I had a long and meaningful conversation with a guy today. One of the things he told was some advice he received from his dad. See what you think…

“There are three important decisions you will make in your life. And it’s best to only have to make them once…whom will you serve? God or Satan? Who will you marry? And lastly, what calling will you answer?"

I agree, but wonder if we can answer several callings in life. That it is part of one’s journey to pursue one thing now, in preparation for a higher calling later. But that makes life seem so confusing and gives all the college age slackers another way to justify their “not doing anything with their lives.” Not to be too blunt or anything.


I'm done writing now...

Jared Bell

XXX

I was wondering something. An issue that makes little Sunday-Schoolers and even most freshman here at school shivers and make little "ooh" sounds. It’s the issue of sex before marriage and the whole virginity/purity battle. Even now the mention of sex has probably intrigued those who are used to reading my blog about social issues, love, value and other softy stuff. Well. This one's about SEX. I want opinions and attempts at answers.

As my best friend has said to some of her fellow health majors, "sex is real, why fear it."

Here's what I'm sitting on the tracks about...
I'm a 23-year-old man. I am about to graduate from a four-year university in 3 weeks, get a job in less than a month, and be married in August. More importantly, I love my fiancé and she loves me. We are committed to each other forever and that's no joke. In fact, if something happened to not allow us get married and only date. We would be content dating each other for the rest of our lives. In fact, I am in contact with many engaged guys who are in the same situation.

That said. There is a lot of temptation and "emotional pull" towards having sex when a relation enters a time of real love and commitment. Speaking bluntly...it is so much of a struggle that most couples have to change their schedules around so that they won’t risk being alone together and have any opportunity to “slip.”

Now before you think I’m an idiot…let me get to the point. Me and my wonderful fiancé’ are not, in any way, considering stealing each other’s virginity until we are married…so stop penciling us into you prayer list. We both grew up in the church and will remain in the church until we die…we understand and are willing to hold to what we have been taught about sex before marriage. I trust the motives of the old dead church fathers who first began enforcing this rule, even if I never met them, I can understand the principle behind it.

What reasons can you give me for us to not ‘go all the way,’ besides social rejection?” Besides the fact that the church would shun us, what reasons can you give us or others in our situations, for not having sex? We’re in love; we’re committed to each other until death (I can’t prove that in writing but let’s pretend that you believe me), and are at a point in our relationship that all couples get to when they are drawn to move onto the next level of intimacy. We’ve grown over the last two years emotionally, spiritually, and now it seems so natural to grow in physical intimacy.

So you’ve got the facts, the question, and some pretty personal thoughts and, dare I say, ‘borderline gossip.’ What do you got for me? Any opinions? Thoughts? 5-point Calvinist proof texts?

For those of you going into ministry…what are you going to tell a couple of kids who come to you in the same situation? Do you think a couple of people who didn’t grow up in the church are really going to listen to you tell them, “There’s no verses on that subject, but church tradition has saved sex for the marriage bed.” If I were them, I would laugh at you. And you would be offended.


I'm done writing now...

Jared Bell